Monday, December 5, 2011

My new official capacity

To My Christian-Right Friends and Political allies:I want everyone to know, once and for all That I- MYSTR TREEFROG AM THE DEVIL. I'm a Gemini, like to barbeque and eat Saints, karaoke, buffing crome and Drive-thru burgers. I'm looking for an exquisitely coiffed slut and serial killer in a woman-and I'd like to settle down and raise some six-headed puppies in New Jersey. I sell life-insurance on the side. Please send photos of yer ass- because it is-after all- MINE.

PS. Vote fer me and I'll set you free-( for a nominal processing fee of course.)PPS. Just stay home and vote for yourself in the mirror...the election is already over.

IMPORTANT UPDATE:Since I identifyed myself as THE DEVIL this morning there have a great many requests(civil for my personal contact information. I am gratified by this overwhelming response- however-in my capacity as the God of Hellfire and human destruction I find myself on the road quite a bit- Hence it is difficult to have any mail forwarded( rest assured the DEVIL DOES NOT TWEET.....ok?) I have arranged to have all personal correspondence forwarded to my personal assistant. Please direct all requests, inquiries, pictures of asses(bare and/or hairy),puppies and succinct advice or suggestions to:
Americans For Tax Reform, Washington ,DC 20001-hell
Thanks for your support.
PPS. Yo Momma is HERE with me. And she lookin REAL good.

1 comment:

Akira's human said...

Use that hate mail in your next writashun.