Sunday, December 27, 2009

DEAR MYSTR Treefrog's Holiday Advice Column- December 26th, 2009

T.F and RF from Cross keys Write:

I am at my in-laws in Bel Air. If I hurled you into a dollar store, blindfolded, and made you crawl around until you randomly pointed at something, that would turn out to be better gifts than what my in-laws bought for us. Robbie didn't even know what the fuck he got. It turns out, "a fake men's dresser drawer, for all your jewelry."Does Robbie seem like the type who needs a fake men's dresser drawer, for all his jewelry?I got stale candies filled with liquor. My maintenance man is born again, so I can't even give them away to him. If Robbie doesn't let me leave them behind, which I'm sure he will, I will throw them out on I-95.

Signed :Crossed At Christmas


Dear Crossed at Christmas- Chill! At least enough to make this horrorshow a truly meaningful experience. As the Wise one says- Failure is just Success that is totally fuct.
Here's my advice:

The Stale liquor filled candies are for the drive down Martin Luther king Ave at Rt 40 down to just beyond Pratt St. The homeless guys love 'em.Save those.
The Fake Men's Jewelry drawer should be filled with pieces of marble and handcuffed to your In-Laws chihuahua and pitched into the Choptank.
But perhaps you should stock up first on video tape.
MY NEW HOLIDAY is kind of a hannukah Chistmas mixed with Idol-woshipping Luau dancers fit of body and that sexy Borneo Pango-Pango Riddim- naked from the waist up (lets be fair Men And Women -but more women...this is not ENTIRELY objective)
There will be no need to actually slaughter a pig as a sacrifice- we'll simple lead a couple pigs to the alter and show them the Choptank chihuahua DVD in Blueray.
There will be drumming. Lots. And all torches will be lit with a proper shamash. Yule logs will be lit - being first primarily doused with pure Tennessee corn liquor and rolled down the hill whence a bunch of guys in multicolored Mr Spock and/or Lord Jesus duds and costumes will attempt to race the flaming yule log down the hill...and after gaining speed actually HOP OVER the flaming Yule logs and out run them with fire crackers- (in the shape of baby jesus )strapped to their asses. The winner jumps into the ocean without being mashed or having their buttocks set a-chattering with the best invention the Chinese ever devised.
Where upon gifts- or actually GIFT VOUCHERS will be exchanged. Condoms and paper flowers will rain down on all Festival Attendees like it was a Prince Concert finale.
The week between this new holiday and New Years day( on which Kwansa Haiku will be recited backwards at poetry slams) - all elves and small people will be able to make ALLtall guys their personal weekly chore bitch. Nothing kinky- just dusting rafters and changing light bulbs and saving kitties from trees. In a pink speedos 1 size too small. Nuts idea,huh girls?
Will you be among to sign my petition for this new and graceful holiday?
And oh- for desert we'll have uber Jeezus freeks dressed in polar bear suits on their own chunk of dry ice floating around a wave pool. Slingshots will be available in an array of iridescent metallic hues. Ammo will be Candy cigarettes filled with amaretto., Cherries Jubillee!!

Your festive friend;
MYSTR Treefrog

Tuesday, October 27, 2009


ON PURITY-a little morning meditation
rock is a beautiful mongrel-cur...adaptable as a pure-blood can never be. The dog-soldier prophet of music. The dirt-farmer poet. The blue-collar angel with a dirty face, big heart and skinned knuckles.
tough as a steel forged ten size nail being driven directly though the heart of despotism and hypocrisy.
all these things with a healthy dose of serious B/S and (now) hamburger sales. There is a bikini in there somewhere. And tight jeans stained with 30 weight motor oil,mustard and red clay hardened with sweat and beer. And laughter born of the national absurdity and true realization of individual freedom- mixed with healthy cynicism and a revolutionary kick up of dust in the face of the Landlords-the self-appointed Bosses- who suppose ownership of our spirit.
Don't tread on me, I'm the mongrel, the mutt, the real deal, the eater of lies, the mirror of deceit, the fixed glare and sinister smirk. All in the Key of E...which stands for Everything they ain't.Everyman. Everywoman.
The profiteers,posuers and bean counters will never win especially because obscure rockers NEVER grow old and NEVER die.

Everybody drink a Coca-Cola and burp in unison. Do this harmonious burping in church because God-indeed- has a SERIOUS sense of humor, and ALL body noises are natures symphony.
how daggum amurican is that?
Ok...I'm done.
For Now.
See you beautiful rocker-mutts tonight. Somewhere.
Bring teeth.

MYSTR Treefrog.

Saturday, October 17, 2009

Friday, October 16, 2009
Interview On Netherlands Radio

Today Friday Oct 16th live on Netherlands Radio by BERTWIN "BLUES" BIJLEVELDhttp://www.golfbrekerradio.nlWhere music actually is nurtured and it matters that you ain't pretty...This station has a great Live stream..BOOKMARK IT!My Thanks to Bertwin who asked some great questions and allowed me to babble on endlessly.I'm excited to have had success in Europe with the new SWAMPADELIC HOUND DAWG CD.(They like it in ByGawd Texas too. Yepper Y'awl)Looking forward to taping an interview with the amazing LARZ FROM MARS this sunday on ARLINGTON CABLE...I think he wants me to be a new style Clarabell/Treefrog on his newly launched show...this could get crazed.This makes an otherwise grey day in DC a bit better.Best atcha..MTF

Friday, August 21, 2009


By Wildy of WILDY'S WORLD:
Review: MYSTR Treefrog - Swampadelic Hound Dawg

MYSTR Treefrog - Swampadelic Hound Dawg 2009, Ottomannix Music, Inc.

Very often I’ll try to give a very brief introduction to a band in the first paragraph of a review. There are occasionally albums I review from folks who really need no introduction, and then there are, from time to time, acts for which any introduction would be insufficient. Silver Spring, Maryland’s MYSTR Treefrog is one such artist. Born from the sweltering heart of Southern Blues with a punk attitude and some good, old fashioned Psychedelia thrown in, MYSTR Treefrog isn’t quite like anything that’s been heard in the popular music scene in a while. His album, Swampadelic Hound Dawg, is better heard than written about.

Swampadelic Hound Dawg opens with Walkerdawg, a delicious mix of Blues and Cajun styles that's guaranteed to get your musical libido swinging. The guitar work here is outstanding, and MYSTR Treefrog's voice sounds like part Leon Redbone and part Dan Akroyd. Jefferson Nova and Kelly Chevette is a "cautionary tale" about two young bandits from Maryland out on the road. It's an entertaining story-song but not one of the stronger tracks on the disc. How Gone Is Gone is a letter to a long-lost friend in song about letting go and freeing yourself from the ties that bind and about happiness. It's unusually personal and stands out from the rest of the album as a serious and introspective attempt at reaching out across innumerable miles to someone who may or may not be listening. God's Gift 2 Man is an old school intervention set to song around some of the filthiest blues licks this is of the Mississippi. It's an out-of-the-box story song that's entertaining and has a vaguely theatrical sensibility. Leonard is a strong blues/rock tune with great rhythm and some kicking collaboration between guitar and harmonica.

Other highlights include Chasin' Tail, My Babes A Mechanic and Nawlins Worm Dance.

MYSTR Treefrog forges eclectic mix of Folk, Blues, Rock and some Cajun seasoning on Swampadelic Hound Dawg in creating a listening experience you won't soon forget. I can't say I loved every song on the disc, but as a complete work it's unforgettable. I have a sense that MYSTR Treefrog isn't a complete experience until you catch him live. Do so, if you have the opportunity.Rating: 3.5 Stars (Out of 5)You can learn about MYSTR Treefrog at You can purchase a copy of Swampadelic Hound Dawg at
Posted by Wildy at 6:15 AM
Labels: Captain Beefheart, Dan Akroyd, Howlin Wolf, Iggy Pop, Jim Morrison, John Zorn, Leon Redbone, Tinkerbell, Tom Waits

Saturday, August 8, 2009


The New CD by MYSTR Treefrog is Now available on
Some truly great people contributed to the sound of this album.

BleeChild played drums on most of the tracks on the Cd. It was great to be able to work with him again in the studio. We haven’t been able to do studio work since laying down rough tracks for what would be Mer De Mente by SHOCK OPERA. We’ve known and played music together since he was 14 years old. His enthusiasm for live performance hasn’t changed. He plays in three thousand bands in and around Richmond,Va…The SPLINTERED JELLY BABIES,THE STRAP-ONS, PURE AND SINFUL (just to name a few.)He refuses to be quiet or still or entirely un-demented.
It is also possible that he NEVER sleeps.
Check him out on

ELIJAH BRAYTON- Bass. I guess I had to grow my own. Luckily for me the genetics kicked in. His track on “Chasin’ Tail” was so supremely funky it made the whole experience worthwhile….besides- he’s way easier on the eyes for the female fans than M.T.F…his memory is amazingly intact AND he lifts all the heavy stuff- (including P.A., Drums, and M.T.F. after each performance.) Such a good Lad.

ALPHONSO “HOT”COLES- Djembe and Hand Percussion: Alphonso has been a key element to the SWAMPADELIC THUMP signature sound. His work with both the Electric and Acoustic textures of the band is pivotal by adding the go-go and Afro-Latin beat to the stew.Alphonso and MYSTR Treefrog often go out as a duo and play Acoustically anywhere they are allowed to do so. They may even submit to the indignity of applying for a D.C. busquer’s license. Or then again-maybe not.

GARY FRALIN- Organ on TRUTH SAFARI and SLOW SHAPES. This performance came about as a casual phone call from BleeChild for Gary to bump down to SNAKE OIL STUDIOS to lay down a track or two. What a great player. It was inspirational and added so much to the emotion and texture of the sound that everyone was blown away. NOTHING makes a song better than the soul of a B-3 and a Leslie Cabinet.

GARY BROWN of BUSHMASTER BLUES- Played Amazing Lead Guitar to M.T.F.’s Acoustic 12 string on GOD’S GIFT 2 MAN. Gary Brown is probably one of THE BEST live guitar players on The East(and West) Coast. This track is just a small sample of what he and his Stratocaster are capable of. He and his wife Trudi are true Blues Road Warriors and travel all over the area playing incredible live blues-rock. Do yourself a favor- Go check him out. One show will restore your faith in live Guitar Artistry.
ELE EDBERG- played a nearly perfect rimshot track on JEFFERSON NOVA AND KELLY CHEVETTE. He nailed the track a flawless first take. Ele is the son of a great musician from Takoma Park, MARK EDBERG of The FURIES. He and Eli were elementary schoolmates. He is currently studying Music theory at Temple University in Philadelphia.
This young Cat is gonna set the Jazz World on Fire- I guarantee.

COLEMAN O’DONOHUE- channeled his inner NAWLINS Funky Swamp Thang on LEONARD and added some great Hi=hat work on TRUTH SAFARI. Coleman is well known in The Md/DC area as a premier session and Live Jazz Drummer for anyone that matters. He is also the kindly, friendly and humorous cat who runs the Drum Kingdom at Chuck Levins Washington Music Center. He knows more about Plastic food shaped shake toys and maracas than anyone else alive. He’s kind of a Percussionist Mark Twain.
He’d probably disagree but he’s not the bragging type.

The Drum and Organ Tracks were recorded(with great patience) by
Dan-O is a veteran road-dog of years of touring in Europe and the U.S.-most notably with the band ADAM WEST. It takes a practicing live musician to understand what is needed to record excitable crazy people with manic ideas. A sense of humor and good micing technique will win out every time.

The final mix was done by FRANK MARCHAND, engineering legend of the Maryland Music Jungle at WATERFORD DIGITAL in Odenton, Md. Frank has been responsible for the sound of THE ALMIGHTY SENATORS,BOB MOULD,CHOPTEETH,NOTHINGFACE,MISS SARAH AND THE HELP,EAST IS EAST,JIMMY’S CHICKEN SHACK and nearly everyone else. He is also in great demand as a live touring sound engineer and has traveled the planet doing so. He will be moving to Takoma Park by Late Summer to be a partner in AIRSHOW STUDIOS. This will be a musical powerhouse…move over Stax and Muscle Shoals...

KELLY CHEVETTE added her vocal atmospheric flair to the opening track: WALKERDAWG. She will be responsible for starting and calming many a boot-slapping,bar-fighting Swampadelic sonic food fight. We look forward to the headlines…Her instant celebrity status will never change her -she may,however, be impossible to recognize with that solid black bar across her eyes.

Saturday, June 27, 2009

M.J. Exits and Money Indeed Talks

Date: Jun 27, 2009

A Personal Note (and reaction) To My Historian Pal William "Safari" Manning in South Carolina who wrote a very detailed and fascinating piece on the state of Mi Jackson's Copyrights of Beatles Music-and where it may all stand legally upon his storied demise.:

Jeez Bill. You think lots.
As a former member of The Beatles Fanclub and Monkees Lunchbox buying Public..may I simply state that
Weer sincerely....and yes it's ....

Pretty damned lucky for us in the landed(yet forclosed) brain midgetry to have you watching the Stats.
( On a quick Personal note:---I threaten you now with a copy of SWAMPADELIC HOUND DAWG..or better put, a copy of a studio master.
Selection Number 3 "TRUTH SAFARI" may be of special interest.)
This album was completed yesterday upon the demise of the chameleon man-child with previously fleet feet.
Syncronicity. Baby.
There are The Quick, The Dead(one of whom can actually-technically claim the position)
and NOW The Tragic Entertainer and apparent Elvis(and Jonny Cash) spawned(inspired) Train Wreck of awesomest massive exorbitantly humongus
TWICE awesome(like...rea-lly BIG) newspaper selling importance.
Weer talking Gravity Here.
The State of The Third Estate Falters No More.
The Byline?
! The New York Times Has An Orgasm ! all about it...

The Print Media gasps and holds it's collective breath(breadth?) in a hearty ,
eye-popping refrain:

" Katy Gitcher gun! Get that Satellite Frikkin Truck Down Heer NOW!."

Editors Bellow from the Windows of Fleet Street.
(and The Pawtuckett Examiner..)

" Copy! COPY fer a solid YEAR on this one DEAD MUTHAH FUUC-KER."
The Ghost of Randolph Hearst whispers in the time traveling ear of an un-dead Marley-
"Weeee-eer saaa-vvv-ed boys....saaaavedddd.."
(Imagine /Insert soft ethereal REVERB here...)
For Gawd's Sake people.
Wake the Fuckin Fuck Up.
Michael (the Tragic Archangell)Jackson may single-gloved-handedly saved the economy
by O.D.(D.) and remarkable timing.
The Moonwalk of Shiva.
This, Brother Will- (will) not be the last time the Circus will come to town.
I am, by the way impressed by how The Republican Governor of Nevada's
(now re-named The Chastity State)
Had his Penis interviewed on Oprah.
But wait! There's More!
Never To Be Outdone!
Your Governor's Penis can roll out like a fire hose all the way to Argentina
(They don't call it the Fuckland Islands fer NOTHIN' champ..)
Now here's a truly GREEN statement on yer Resume'.
Think Locally- Fuck Globally.
Between the Governor's(times two) Penile Erectumus Vexatum
and Micheal Jackson's Barn-Burner of An Exit-
We the American Peoples are sitting like Pigs on tattered couches in
Over-financed shit.
Ask a Farmer.
He'll tell you it smells like money.
You can't spend a Hole.

with all the sincerity I can muster given the feeding frenzy:
MYSTR Treefrog

Thursday, May 14, 2009

MUSCLE SHOALS STUDIOS- a short history

or how The Swampers and an Ex-Casket Factory changed your life and mine

MYSTR Treefrog

You know how you can have a moment of clarity about something you have been doing or saying wrong for 25 years? It is these realizations, though you are embarrassing and feel ridiculous, that make you look in the mirror and laugh at yourself-hard.

Rock lyrics- especially when lifted off an LP 25 years ago-and in an “altered state” can be inscrutable and tough to decipher. All these years when singing “ Sweet Home Alabama” I’ve sung the line -

:“ In Muscle Shoals They have the swamp huts, and they’ve been known to pick a song’er two..”

Uh…Duh. This is yet another case of making a laughable mistake and continuing it because you need to get on with the gig and you’re too cheap to go out and buy the songbook.

Doing background work for an article can be an invaluable education for the lazy.

The correct line is:
” In Muscle Shoals they have THE SWAMPERS..”

This lyric is in reference to the original Muscle Shoals Rhythm Section composed of guitarist Jimmy Johnson, keyboardist Barry Beckett, drummer Roger Hawkins and bassist David Hood who comprised one of the greatest and influential units in modern American music.

They were nicknamed “The Swampers” by Leon Russell, a mildly derogatory term used to describe the largely unskilled rural laborers who began moving to the fast growing Sheffield/Florance/Muscle Shoals area for work in the new ammunition factories springing up along the Tennessee River during the First World War.

The Muscle Shoals Rhythm Section hit making sound and distinctive rhythm tracks made the music world hum with the warm funk of Southern soul and passion. The Muscle Shoals sound was responsible for the careers of Wilson Pickett, Aretha Franklin, and Percy Sledge. It was this distinctive feel and sound of The Swampers that helped make producer Jerry Wexler and Atlantic Records one of the most successful labels of the ‘60’s and ‘70s.

In order to understand The Swamper’s influence on music history, we’ll need to back up a bit and follow the development of the great Muscle Shoals Studios.

In 1961, Rick Hall, owner of a tiny FAME Studios sought help from the first rhythm section , bassist Norbert Putnam, keyboardist David Briggs and drummer Jerry Carrigan-culled from the local band, Dan Penn and the Pallbearers, to begin recording a singing bellhop he had discovered in a local hotel. Hall had built a tiny makeshift studio in a few rooms above a drugstore in town in hopes of making a few regional hits. Hall scored a minor hit with the song "You'd Better Move On."

Soon the tiny studio was making hits by artists such as Arthur Alexander, Jimmy Hughes, Joe Tex and white teeny-bopper Tommy Roe. The records sold in the millions, Hall lost his first rhythm section to lucrative Nashville offers, but everyone wanted to know where these hits originated. It didn’t stay a secret for very long. When the word got out that this tiny Alabama Studio was cranking out that special sound more work began coming in. After making a few calls, Hall assembled the men who became The Swampers- the rhythm section that would, quite literally, rock the planet.

When Producer Jerry Wexler got into a disagreement with management at Stax Studios in Memphis, he needed a studio to continue his work with his roster of singers. Hits by Wilson Pickett ("Land of 1000 Dances" and "Mustang Sally"), Arthur Conley ("Sweet Soul Music") and Percy Sledge ("When a Man Loves a Woman") were made with the Swampers as the backing band. But it was the music made by a young woman, Aretha(Never Loved A Man, Do Right Woman), the daughter of the Reverend Clarence LaVaughn Franklin from Detroit, that put everything into high gear.
They sat her down at the piano, she raised her voice, and The Queen Of Soul was born.
( Aretha’s sister Erma was the first one to record a song called ”Piece Of My Heart”-later heard and re-recorded and made a hit by Janis Joplin.)

Wexler loved the sound, and though the Studio wasn’t near to any large metropolis or airports, and it was in a “dry” county with no nightlife, he brought his acts to FAME and began to score hit after hit. Black R&B was moving into mainstream and crossing over into radio success by Motown and Stax, but this little studio in backwater Alabama was turning heads. Few realized that the rhythm section laying down the funky arrangements were white.

The Swampers were in demand. These Funky Country boys were called to play sessions in New York and Nashville while still under contract to FAME Studios. The close ties, financial support and steady work from Atlantic and Jerry Wexler convinced the men to go forward into a bold new venture. In 1968 the four Swampers pooled their savings and bought an old abandoned Casket Factory that had been turned into a four-track studio out at 3614 Jackson Highway and Muscle Shoals Studios was born.

To fully understand the impact Muscle Shoals Studios had on the music world and the development of Southern Rock, one has only to look at the roster of artists who made the journey to record there. The list is mind-blowing and nearly impossible to compile in it’s entirety.
Here is the abbreviated list:

John Hammond(Southern Fried),Bobby Womack, Paul Simon(Still Crazy). Boz Scaggs. Joe Cocker. Lynyrd Skynyrd.(Skynrd’s First and Street Survivors), Blackfoot, The Staple Singers, Sanford-Townsend, Dr. Hook, Willie Nelson, Bob Seger, Leon Russell(Shelter People) Traffic(Low Spark Of High Heeled Boys)Tony Joe White (Train I’m On)Danny O’Keefe, Jimmy Cliff, Linda Ronstadt,. Bob Dylan and yes.. The Rolling Stones.

The next time you jump around the room to “Brown Sugar or listen to “Wild Horses” and close your eyes to sing along, know that that recording was made in a tiny ex-casket factory by Jimmy Johnson.

Sweet Home Alabama was recorded here. So was Freebird and Gimmee Three Steps.

There was Magic inside those walls.

If you are a Musician, and you know your music history and you revere the roots that make you the soul that you are, there are three Southern studios that you should realize started it ALL-

Sun and Stax Studios in Memphis- and a small non-descript looking grey brick building at 3614 Jackson Hwy,in Sheffield Alabama named MUSCLE SHOALS.

And -by the way-At Muscle Shoals Studios there was this quiet happy little ol’ Southern guitar player session cat that Wilson Picket
nick-named “Skydog” during his Hey Jude sessions. When Eric Clapton heard the lead break at the end of the song he exclaimed,

” Who Is this cat? I wanna meet him right away!”

You will find his soaring and searing melody lines in the song “Layla” and “ Tell The Truth” on the Derek and The Dominos “Layla and Other Stories” album. He went on to light the slide- guitar world on fire. There are few guitar players who haven’t been profoundly influenced by him.

You get two guesses who “ Skydog” is..

Eventually it was decided that he Original building was too small, and the Studios were moved to at 1000 Alabama Avenue in Sheffield. Changes in recording trends,digital technology and the use of Home Recording took it’s toll on the Recording Industry and Muscle Shoals Studios. The Second Muscle Shoals Studio closed it’s doors in the eighties.The original studio at 3614 Jackson Highway was bought and restored to it’s original condition by Noel Webster and has been listed on the National Register of Historic Places. It is open for public tours.
As for “ Swampers”- they were inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall Of fame. They have all moved on to become sucessful producers and continue session work. Their names can be found in the credits of some of the most famous recordings in music.
Original” Swamper" Jimmy Johnson recently recorded tracks in the original Studio and the son of Swamper David Hood -Patterson Hood- is a member of The Drive-By Truckers.
So Musicians and Music lovers- next time you head South for a vacation,forget Disney World. After you see Graceland, make CERTAIN you make time to visit that grey brick Casket Factory in Sweet Home Alabama, lay your hands on the walls, and channel the vibrations of true original Southern Funk. And You too will see the light.
And Don’t it make you feel SO good…yes indeed it do.

The Muscle Shoals Studio is open for tours Tues-sat 12-6
Muscle Shoals Studio
3614 Jackson Highway.
Sheffield Alabama 35660

Suggested websites-

Suggested Reading :
Backstage Passes and Back Stabbing Bastards- by Al Kooper
Skydog-The Duanne Allman Story- by Randy Poe and Billy F. Gibbons
Lynyrd Skynyrd: An Oral History - by Lee Ballinger

Thursday, January 22, 2009


...A TROLL, Y'Hear? A TROLL!

This is what my 15 yr old blue-haired son accused me of after reading several of my reviews on Techno, Ambient, and Electronica on The C0nsensus site.

“’re Trolling.”

“ that like Trawling?”

“ No..TROLLING is like bashing something without being constructive.”

“ I am not.”

“You are. You know you hate why review it?”

“ Hey..look, I TRAWL down the list and randomly pick something that looks interesting. If it’s good, I like it..if it’s bad I try to be kind but tell the truth..if it’s Techno Non-Music CRAP I simply say so.”

He shakes his head again with that baleful Dad-Yer-A-Hopeless-Hypocrite look in his eyes.

“ Dad, I hereby anoint you the TROLL-OF-THE-YEAR-AWARD. Your Statue is a giant Booger.”

“ You’re being insolent.”

“ I am.”

“ You’re questioning my objectivity!”

“I am.”

“ Well, look..I may be an old school pain-in-the-arse stickler about MUSIC being the expression of the HUMAN soul..therefore- to be PLAYED by HUMANS. But I am NO TROLL.”

“ are.”

“Am not.”

“Amso. My father is a Troll.”

“ Go to bed.”

Monday, January 19, 2009

How MYSTR Treefrog Will Spend Inauguration Day Well within Earshot of the

How MYSTR Treefrog Will Spend Inauguration Day Well within Earshot of the
Great UBER-MEGA National Clusterphuk

My plan is to eat soup and watch the midget Jumbo-tron know as my TV.
Hell..I voted fer the Guy...thats pretty good as far changing /enacting history goes for me. Especially in blue ball January. If I had my choice I'd be content to hear the swearing in on a tinny transistor radio on a beach in The Virgin Islands. Mun.Static doesn't harsh my buzz.
I'd hate for my fascination and excitement to sour by feeling like I'm an extra cast member in MARCH OF THE (confused/self important) PENGUINS.'s an idea (!!) ICE CUBE should be the featured act at the Lincoln Memorial.
New Invention ? Porta Potty masquerading as a backpack.
But ..*sigh..*
Backpacks Verboten.
Has anyone even seen " A BEAUTIFUL MIND?
Have the Inaugural Planners?
Bake Cookies. Kashi-bars laced with Paxil, Prozac and Ambien.
No need of massive Viagra..(that’s what the Washington Monument is for.)
Feed The Multitudes.Air Drop McDonalds Fish Sandwiches into the crowd. This too could go down in the history (oddly) repeats itself category.
I shit you not. I look forward with enchanted (AND ENIGMATIC)aplomb.
P.S. All cynism aside...I am proud of this country for living up to our potential.
I can admit to (possible maybe almost)tears. But that seems SO-ooo un-punkified. So forget I mentioned that.
I'm proud to be a Boomer.
Oh...and G'bye Idgit- go back to whatever jerkwater Texas town y'all came from.
Free at last! Das Kapital rocks once more.

Thursday, January 15, 2009


Dearest Norine-
There is a funny dark backstory to "God's New Noah's Ark" - which is a based initiative that has been going on in a little town west of here(Dc/Md) in the hills(3,000 ft) in Frostburg , Md. The Town name FROSTBURG, is apt as the mountains get the "Great Lakes Effect" which results in early and massive snow and sleet storms. THIS is where my family ended up after leaving South Georgia.(Read: place of NO hills or SNOW.) My Mother was an English Professor in a small mountain college there. (Can't you tell by my spelling and typo prowess? Ability to proof read?)
In any case-"God's Ark Of Safety" has a billboard advertising it as such, and soliciting donations- has been "under construction" for about 35 years. Apparently progress has been slow-possibly due to the inflationary costs of construction and the care and feeding of the (now deceased) Preacher who ,by direct word of God Almighty-was anointed by a vision that came at Thanksgiving dinner-it is by this afore alluded to Divine Word He (the Preacher-now deceased)has instigated the ARK project to begin with.

He did seem to have a new pickup every year.
The Lord didn’t expect the New Noah to solicit in a rusted out Chevy Nova. This was clear.

The area is coal mining country, and has been since about 1790. An area rather depressed and full of generations of poverty and inbreeding. The result is predictable. The Preacher in question was pretty famous for damning all those who made fun of his structure-yes a concrete church built in the shape and EXACT dimensions of the Biblical boat, and consigning all detractors to the fiery furnaces of Hell, or worse an extended lifetime in the coal mines. He was, to say the least, a bit of an egomaniac. He had followers. Not many- but enough. A few wrangled positions on the county school board. They also seemed, by some mysterious osmosis of divinination, to have the power to damn all those who detracted the ARK to Hell as well. The rumor is that a city councilman drowned in his own pool because he public ally questioned the (now deceased-and I'm getting around to that) Preacher at city Council meetings and in the newspaper. The only thing that gave credence to this Voodoo was that the City Councilman(now also deceased)was that the City Councilman(now drowned) had skimmed educational funds to build his swimming pool,one of the maybe quarter-dozen private residential pools in the entire county. You gotta admit- it is a little spooky. But the guy(drowned fund-skimming religious bashing City Councilman, now deceased by divination) was a drunk and excessive party-slut who forgot that cocaine, water sex and a half a gallon of vodka mixed with pool water is a serious breach of ethics, biology and the realities of existing in the 3rd dimension.. OOPS.


Two days(or so) later the plot thickens considerably. I was already in DC eking out an existence as a courier and Punk star(minor)- so I have to rely on second hand eye-witness accounts of Chot- (the husband of Patti-drummer of Wall Of Chick) who recounts the following- He had made his daily stop at a Liquor Store on the South Side of Main Street, when-while attempting to light a cigarette- a sudden rush of wind made him -in a life-saving moment of(dare we say it?) DIVINE reflexology- Duck BACK into the doorway- Whereupon a runaway Coal Semi-Tractor truck- having lost it's airbrakes coming off the 45 % grade of Big Savage Mountain- narrowly missing Chot and his unlit cigarette proceeded to demolish 12 parked cars, set off an inferno, and commit manslaughter on 4 unfortunate victims.

This calamity even made the National Evening News.

The four victims were-
1 very amenable old lady who owned the competing Liquor store across the street-who was much loved by all the inebriated town folk and several generations of college students for her legendary bad eyesight which led to a great deal of under-age sales of alchohol to minors. This was where the unfortunate Truck(and poor beloved lady and truckdriver) finally came to a fiery stop, setting off a blaze that consumed 4 adjoining buildings.

The remaining two victims were-
(You guessed it!) The Preacher and the wife of the deceased(drowned) City Councilman who had been waiting at a stoplight in the brand spanking new Chevy Pick-up 4 X 4 after- (and this is pure conjecture)-what must have been a miracle conversion and private "prayer session" with the grieving widow.
Chot, having had both a near-death experience, and witnessing FIRSTHAND the hand of Divine Providence in Dramatic full scale technicolor- took this as a sign that God wanted him to continue cigarette smoking. And he does to this day.
It is he who named it The Jesus Truck.

The ARK is still under construction and under-funded. The Preacher's WIFE ,has taken over the holy concrete pour. The insurance paid off handsomely. She drives a Cadillac.

The song THE ARK is written and performed thru the eyes of a small child of an unfortunate a deluded(pipe-hitting) parishioner living in a Western Maryland Trailer Park.

I couldn't really make the entire backstory fit the meter of the song. So I'll admit to a certain esoteric essence to the lyrics.Norine Braun wrote:
Hey MTf, very cool works of artU fit the profile is great very intense very artful would love to see a slideshow visual with it with paranoia flashing intermittently ...rednex is a strong statement , great insight to the inner workings of the southern white male, the agrarian separation is a good point, love the smokin slide too.The Ark Funk trailer trash with hints of Red hot chili peppers and zappa so the fact that he is feeling no pain from smoking the pipe makes him a poor decision maker because stone boats don\t float right . ok is this because he is a drug user or only his denial or a combination thereof. If he is accepting the truth that stone does not float his dreams will never actualize(denial)Cheers, nbOn Sunday, October 22, 2006, at 01:40 PM, treefrog treefrog wrote:>>