Thursday, January 15, 2009


Dearest Norine-
There is a funny dark backstory to "God's New Noah's Ark" - which is a based initiative that has been going on in a little town west of here(Dc/Md) in the hills(3,000 ft) in Frostburg , Md. The Town name FROSTBURG, is apt as the mountains get the "Great Lakes Effect" which results in early and massive snow and sleet storms. THIS is where my family ended up after leaving South Georgia.(Read: place of NO hills or SNOW.) My Mother was an English Professor in a small mountain college there. (Can't you tell by my spelling and typo prowess? Ability to proof read?)
In any case-"God's Ark Of Safety" has a billboard advertising it as such, and soliciting donations- has been "under construction" for about 35 years. Apparently progress has been slow-possibly due to the inflationary costs of construction and the care and feeding of the (now deceased) Preacher who ,by direct word of God Almighty-was anointed by a vision that came at Thanksgiving dinner-it is by this afore alluded to Divine Word He (the Preacher-now deceased)has instigated the ARK project to begin with.

He did seem to have a new pickup every year.
The Lord didn’t expect the New Noah to solicit in a rusted out Chevy Nova. This was clear.

The area is coal mining country, and has been since about 1790. An area rather depressed and full of generations of poverty and inbreeding. The result is predictable. The Preacher in question was pretty famous for damning all those who made fun of his structure-yes a concrete church built in the shape and EXACT dimensions of the Biblical boat, and consigning all detractors to the fiery furnaces of Hell, or worse an extended lifetime in the coal mines. He was, to say the least, a bit of an egomaniac. He had followers. Not many- but enough. A few wrangled positions on the county school board. They also seemed, by some mysterious osmosis of divinination, to have the power to damn all those who detracted the ARK to Hell as well. The rumor is that a city councilman drowned in his own pool because he public ally questioned the (now deceased-and I'm getting around to that) Preacher at city Council meetings and in the newspaper. The only thing that gave credence to this Voodoo was that the City Councilman(now also deceased)was that the City Councilman(now drowned) had skimmed educational funds to build his swimming pool,one of the maybe quarter-dozen private residential pools in the entire county. You gotta admit- it is a little spooky. But the guy(drowned fund-skimming religious bashing City Councilman, now deceased by divination) was a drunk and excessive party-slut who forgot that cocaine, water sex and a half a gallon of vodka mixed with pool water is a serious breach of ethics, biology and the realities of existing in the 3rd dimension.. OOPS.


Two days(or so) later the plot thickens considerably. I was already in DC eking out an existence as a courier and Punk star(minor)- so I have to rely on second hand eye-witness accounts of Chot- (the husband of Patti-drummer of Wall Of Chick) who recounts the following- He had made his daily stop at a Liquor Store on the South Side of Main Street, when-while attempting to light a cigarette- a sudden rush of wind made him -in a life-saving moment of(dare we say it?) DIVINE reflexology- Duck BACK into the doorway- Whereupon a runaway Coal Semi-Tractor truck- having lost it's airbrakes coming off the 45 % grade of Big Savage Mountain- narrowly missing Chot and his unlit cigarette proceeded to demolish 12 parked cars, set off an inferno, and commit manslaughter on 4 unfortunate victims.

This calamity even made the National Evening News.

The four victims were-
1 very amenable old lady who owned the competing Liquor store across the street-who was much loved by all the inebriated town folk and several generations of college students for her legendary bad eyesight which led to a great deal of under-age sales of alchohol to minors. This was where the unfortunate Truck(and poor beloved lady and truckdriver) finally came to a fiery stop, setting off a blaze that consumed 4 adjoining buildings.

The remaining two victims were-
(You guessed it!) The Preacher and the wife of the deceased(drowned) City Councilman who had been waiting at a stoplight in the brand spanking new Chevy Pick-up 4 X 4 after- (and this is pure conjecture)-what must have been a miracle conversion and private "prayer session" with the grieving widow.
Chot, having had both a near-death experience, and witnessing FIRSTHAND the hand of Divine Providence in Dramatic full scale technicolor- took this as a sign that God wanted him to continue cigarette smoking. And he does to this day.
It is he who named it The Jesus Truck.

The ARK is still under construction and under-funded. The Preacher's WIFE ,has taken over the holy concrete pour. The insurance paid off handsomely. She drives a Cadillac.

The song THE ARK is written and performed thru the eyes of a small child of an unfortunate a deluded(pipe-hitting) parishioner living in a Western Maryland Trailer Park.

I couldn't really make the entire backstory fit the meter of the song. So I'll admit to a certain esoteric essence to the lyrics.Norine Braun wrote:
Hey MTf, very cool works of artU fit the profile is great very intense very artful would love to see a slideshow visual with it with paranoia flashing intermittently ...rednex is a strong statement , great insight to the inner workings of the southern white male, the agrarian separation is a good point, love the smokin slide too.The Ark Funk trailer trash with hints of Red hot chili peppers and zappa so the fact that he is feeling no pain from smoking the pipe makes him a poor decision maker because stone boats don\t float right . ok is this because he is a drug user or only his denial or a combination thereof. If he is accepting the truth that stone does not float his dreams will never actualize(denial)Cheers, nbOn Sunday, October 22, 2006, at 01:40 PM, treefrog treefrog wrote:>>

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